最近的对话,都是关于“下星期这个时候”。
我说:我在吃饭。
他说:下星期这个时候我就和你一起吃饭了。
我说:我在买菜。
他说:下星期这个时候我就和你一起买菜了。
我说:我在走路。
他说:下星期这个时候我就和你一起走路了。
下星期这个时候,我们就在一起了。每天都在一起了!语言在这个时候忽然显得贫乏。是的,人生的新篇章,情感婚姻的里程碑。是的,周末不用倒计时了,不用老往机场跑了。是的,可以告别那些告别的夜晚,那些用照片和坚强安慰自己的夜晚。是的,每天醒来就看见对方了,每天下班回家就看见对方了,每天吃饭就不老盯着电脑(我)或者电视(小子)了,我们将盯着对方和食物,然后每天都问“你今天过得怎么样”。是的,每个周末我们都可以有在一起的慢悠悠的早餐,每个周末我们都将安排这样那样的事。是的,工作繁忙压力大的时候,我们可以互相倾诉探讨了。是的,我们可以一起执行一些想法了,两个人在一起的行动力比一个人强,至少是我。
有些显而易见的具体的变化。我们期待的具体的事。
周末的road trip。各个公园,各个小镇,以及城市,纽约和费城,甚至巴尔的摩,华盛顿,或者波士顿。
小镇的各色文化活动。和电影院里的电影。
会买两辆更舒服的自行车。骑车去镇上将是经常的事。
小子老早就隆重邀请我和他一起看PBS,所以我会看更多的电视。
小子答应他会更经常的运动,他说他会去参加附近的某个健身房。他说的。我会监督。
小子还觉得他可以帮我克服晚饭后吃不停的恶习。我希望他能。
星期一到星期四的晚饭谁负责,还没商定好。考虑到我的无敌commute和小子的单程一小时,估计是我的事。
小子的新grill已经运到。他将负责烧烤架上的任何食物,是我们家的king of grill。我希望自己提高无水锅的烹饪多样性,简单快速是宗旨。
我们会继续拍很多的照片,除了记录,要更加注重摄影的美感和技巧。
我们会结交新朋友。会去邻居DAVE和ANN家串门,也邀请他们过来串门。
小子还觉得我们应该一起打高尔夫,因为“步行就到乡村俱乐部”怎么能不打呢。
还有一些东西不应该变化。我会继续三不五时和女友们聚会,吃饭。我们会各自看各自的书,做各自喜欢的事。我应该继续写日记或者周记。小子应该继续经常打球。
每次说到婚姻的日常生活,我都会想起Seinfeld里的那个片段,Cosmo kramer的关于婚姻生活就象监狱的理论。it is hilarious。必须摘抄。当然Kramer是有趣的极品人物。这短对话好玩,也是轻微的提醒。一切快乐至上。比方说,假如小子只有看着电视吃饭才快乐,那就看呗。嗯,除非,除非我极度不快乐。那问题就变成:你是爱我还是爱电视?
"I had a very interesting lunch with George Costanza today."
"Really?"
"We were talking about our lives, and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men."
"So then you asked yourselves, 'Isn't there something more to life?'"
"Yes, we did." "Yeah, well let me clue you in on something... There isn't."
"There isn't?"
"Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry, marriage? Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. 'Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?!' And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating."
"I can?"
"Oh yeah. You know why? Because it's dinnertime, and you know what you do at dinner?"
"What?"
"You talk about your day. 'How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know, how about you, how was your day?'"
"Boy."
"It's sad, Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs."
"I'm glad we had this talk."
"Oh, you have no idea."
"Really?"
"We were talking about our lives, and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men."
"So then you asked yourselves, 'Isn't there something more to life?'"
"Yes, we did." "Yeah, well let me clue you in on something... There isn't."
"There isn't?"
"Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry, marriage? Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. 'Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?!' And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating."
"I can?"
"Oh yeah. You know why? Because it's dinnertime, and you know what you do at dinner?"
"What?"
"You talk about your day. 'How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know, how about you, how was your day?'"
"Boy."
"It's sad, Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs."
"I'm glad we had this talk."
"Oh, you have no idea."
归根到底,我不怕生活里这样的细节,知道自己没那么严格或者拧巴的性格。生活里更重要的是另外一种细节。比如上上个周末在海边,小子显然还是缺觉,有一会,他躺在沙滩上,不远处是玩沙子的一家人,和大海。那个一小会,我就站在那里,看着,这个伸手可及的我最亲密的男人,生活里无处不在的生机勃勃,海洋的深蓝广阔。被淡淡的感动包围。或者,是昨天早晨,闹钟响之前醒来迷迷糊糊的第一个念头就是:下星期这个时候醒来,他就躺在我身边。浑身上下打了个激灵,瞬间清醒得象八点钟的太阳。
这篇日记将发给小子看,想知道他的想法。还有,要再次提醒他,下一张机票是单程机票,单程!
小子反馈:读了很感动,为我如此期待之心感动。KRAMER的话很经典。事情罗列得很全面,唯一要补充的是,他将每天,假如不是每天,那也会是经常地对我的穿着发表意见。我提醒他,他诚实的意见有可能惹恼我,他不紧张吗。他觉得,通常他都很认可我的style和taste。假如他不认同,他觉得我应该是火速换掉!(好像验证了蔡老师的话--天平座男人很注重外表。)
我自己的补充:还有一个必然的改变就是,不仅仅是家以外的周遭,在家里的活动半径也将扩展。
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