An Email to Dong

多么有意思. 今天读到小董的邮件. 说到我的照片, 总是有点冷清. 看看刚刚上传的几张, 是的, 它们都很冷清. 而我在拍的时候, 只是想着, 雪很美. 也许, 那些细节的存在, 通常都有点冷清. 而我经常也是在一个人走路的时候会注意到细节, 会被吸引. 小董是很文静的姑娘, 而我一贯来, 从小到大, 都被贴着活蹦乱跳的标签. 但小董今天的EMAIL提醒我, 她才是真正喜欢热闹的人呢. 哎,横看成岭侧成峰啊. 呵呵.
因为今天身体不舒畅, 蹦不起来跳不起来, 所以痛痛快快回了一封. 贴在这里吧.

Dong,

I knew your email was in my HOTMAIL inbox! You didn’t fail me, as usual. This is another evidence that you are a very self-disciplined person and follow your own routine/habit in an almost stubborn manner. (I mean it in a good way)

First of all, the way you described the improvements you have made in past few years, again, made me smile. I am always glad to see that my friends genuinely feel good about themselves for significant or insignificant things. I believe all the movies you have seen, all the books you have read and all the journals you have written are a large part of your life. Movies or books could be a place where people can temporarily escape from their boring or stressful life. But I don’t see you need to escape from anything. Am I right? So here is your question: why am I enjoying novels? I enjoy reading novels, because they can provoke my emotions in a beautiful way, they create a curious and intriguing atmosphere I feel somehow surreal and meaningful, or, sometimes, good novels make annoying/miserable things in reality seem much less significant than it could be otherwise. Hope my answer is satisfactory to you.

You have to read Paul Auster’s Hand to Mouth and other true stories. They are not novels. You will like them. They are very down-to-earth and intriguing. One of the themes in Paul Auster’s books, is about coincidence. Coincidence is everywhere. It is Auster’s stories that make me want to write my own stories. We are on the same page in terms of still trying to figure out what kind of person we want to be or what kind of life we want to have. The time needed to figure out varies from person to person. It is possible that it takes a life time to find the answer. But even so, it is still worthwhile and much better than having no thoughts on this matter. I was a little concerned before that I was so much behind my peers, most of them seem to be already comfortable or confident about their life. So there is consolation in the thought that my friend, Dong, is also on this long journey.

Another note on Raymond Carver, I finished his Cathedral and did write something. Will post it to my blog shortly.

Your little comment on my pictures made me contemplate. What is exactly the English word for 冷清? Quietness, Serenity, Solitude, or a mix of all? Forgive my poor vocabulary. But I understand what you mean. I could even image how you hesitated a little bit while typing this word. What I am not sure about is why my pictures convey such a feeling. Is it just because the life here is just as simple and冷清 as it is? or deep down, I am isolated from many practical aspects of the life? My friend, it can be topic we can have a deep discussion about it.

With regard to the picnic long time ago, I didn’t remember anything. My first reaction was that it is not a good example, as I was and still am a person who would hardly fall asleep sometimes just because of next day’s trip or something like that. On second thought, it probably tells something. I love to get together with friends, but usually don’t have the desire to organize a big party or participate in a big group event. I enjoy the coziness, closeness and intimacy with friends much more than social mingle and talks, although I normally will have a fun time in a party. For example, I am actually going to a dinner party with my colleagues tonight. I look forward to it. But if there would be get-together with you or other close friends tonight, I would prefer hanging out with you.

Ok, it is long enough for an email. I will stop here. Once again, the difference between you and me does not matter. How we perceive the difference matters.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Wangzi